Return 3.0 and The Future
I guess I'm trying blogging again. I always end up doing this again in low periods of my life but I'm actually clever enough to write that stuff in my notebook now. I'd like to write here again about more lighthearted things like projects, maybe some media I'm getting into and all sorts of creative stuff.
I'm in a weird point of my life right now. I've finally noticed that feeling like you understand where you're headed and what to do next, like everything you've done up until this point was you wandering blind and innexperienced, is a loop you go through over and over again. I guess it's more easily illustrated like a line graph going up and down constantly, the Y axis being your confidence and the X being time. It's good though because really your skills keep going up, feeling uncertain challenges you to step out of your comfort zone.
To actually explain what I'm talking about: I just feel like I'm back at that point where I have lost my confidence, I feel like I've wandered somewhere blind, I'm lost, and I'm a little anxious and depressed because I don't know how to get back to the clear path.
I had never used my blog as a very serious place for my art, which is fine! If you've followed me for a while you'll see that I've been polishing this place up to reflect where I'm at with myself right now. This site was a lot of everything, unserious, can't think of the correct term but I'll say it was something that was difficult to openly share. Like I said, that's fine, I was experimenting with coding, expression, how to present myself. This site was and is a digital representation of myself. I'm just streamlining it a little, getting rid of parts I don't care for anymore and reorganising pages.
I feel like having this site be more presentable, have more of my art here and have it easier to navigate, is a good start to ironing out my artist presence. I've never been good at portfolios but a site I can share feels better for me. I just feel very stunted right now and like there's more to what oppertunities I could be taking. I just really want to leave my mark in an impressive way. The future looks really blurry in my mind because I haven't built the path to where I want to go yet.
