jesus christ, im pretty sure my top surgery consoltation just got delayed again. i hate this so much. everything to do with my healthcare experience is sucking right now. my testosterone perscription is late as hell because they lost the letter for it and then it took them 4 days after my email to actually send it out. i still havent recieved it. I emailed like 11 days after i ordered it by the way. In this email i also asked when my next shot and bloodtest will be because i couldnt remember and they just simply didnt answer that part. or even comment on it. so i dont know man. im just gonna book it for when i think it is. if i fuck that up then whatever, not my faul.

back on the top surgery thing though, christ. wanna know when i booked this appointment? october. and not of 2024. october 2023. and now its being delayed twice. hell im probably gonna end up waiting 2 damn years for this. and its only a consoltation, its not even for when i actually get the damn surgery. Ill make this even worse, it was booked in october 2023 but id been waiting for the chance to even book that appointment since like april 2022. so if im being a real dick i could say ive been waiting 3 years for this so far. i know im an ass for complaining about my free healthcare not being good but its just getting to me.

this is kinda off topic but in 2022 i was meant to be refered to a mental health thing, i dont know, for my anxiety and paranoia. i never heard anything back which is hilarious so ive just continued to freeball life. ive had a good period for about a year but i feel like im spiraling again so maybe ill reach out about it again but im super nervous. the only reason i even tried to get refered in the first place in 2022 is because they asked me if i wanted to during my appointment with my gp to get refered to the gender clinic. i feel like im gonna mess up and do it wrong and embarass myself. anyone reading this from the uk got a mental health referal or whatever its called?

Okay, heres an additional thing. i thought to myself, fuck it im gonna book an appointment with my gp for mental health stuff only to forget that for some reason you can only book appointments online between like 8am and 10am. bro this is so dumb. i hope i remember to do this in time tomorrow/wake up in time. raahhh. i hate doing online appointments because it makes you choose like physical symptoms and so far ive only ever had to this about metnal health stuff so i just kinda click on paperwork request then say its actually about a referal. stupid stupid stupid. my boyfriends gp is even worse, he has to point to a part of the body and list symptoms on the website so he just clicks on the head then lists mental health stuff LOL