I'm so weird haha

University is so much but I'm enjoying my third year so far. I'm in at 10am again tomorrow then I'm free for the weekend... I've been decently productive with my work this week, I'd say I'm on track. I need to work hard this weekend though so that I'm ready for next week. I've got a really bad habit right now where I forget to bring lunch to university but the food there is so expensive that I can't bring myself to buy anything so I just don't eat all day. I remembered to pack a wrap today though.

I'm so awkward when it comes to talking to people outside of my circle in university and I don't know why. It's like I turn into a completely different person and I become such a stereotype of awkward sweaty guy trying to communicate with people. I just stumble over all my words and over explain myself and under explain myself and say the most nothing sentences. In situations like this I always feel like I've left my body and I'm just observing myself being awkward as fuck and I have no control over what I'm doing. I feel like I weird everyone out so I usually don't talk to anyone but then I think people must think I don't want to be friends with anyone which isn't true. I'm so bad at making friends. I hate telling people how I think I'm off-putting and weird because it always sounds like I'm trying to be quirky and shit. That's my own fault though because I can never seriously and unironically talk about my feelings. I feel like it's always got to be a haha relatable sounding quip so that I'm not killing the vibe and venting. I'm a lot better at talking to people online because I can take hours to craft a good message to people. Even then I end up being awkward on accident. I hate messages that show if you've seen the chat or not. I like e-mail so I can take my time and give bog responses,

I'm super stressed about doctor stuff again. I don't know what's going on with my blood tests and I can't seem to figure out how to order in a new perscription. I emailed over a week ago and again yesterday so if I don't hear anything else this morning I'm going to call them to try to sort it out. I'm scared I've fucked something up so I'm not going to be able to get my injection in time.

I watched the first episode of the new Penguin TV show today and it was really good. I took some notes on it for my dissertation. I love Sofia Falcone. I'm pretty behind on watching TV shows I like lately. I need to watch more Stargate soon. I think I burned myself out a little but I'd like to get back into it again.