So Anxious!

I feel awful today, I had the worst panic attack of my life earlier. I was sitting on the sofa with my friends and suddenly I just felt my vision zoom out and my arm started to feel so numb and achey and I couldn't breathe. I just started pacing around the room and yelling "I'm having a heart attack, what should I do?" and hyperventilating. I layed on the floor and I was shaking so bad that I was banging on the floor and it looked like I was having a seizure. My arm still hurts and feels weird as I'm typing this and it's been a couple hours since so I guess I'm going to call the emergency healthline if it's still like this in a couple hours. I feel another panic attack creeping up on me every now and then, it sucks. I don't really know why exactly I feel like this but thinking about it scares me so I won't type it out.

Okay, I just went on a walk and ate so now I feel a little better.

I went to my friends birthday party yesterday and it was really fun. I wore my fuckass baker boy hat that I never wear and I wanna start wearing it again more often. I looked like Shy Ronnie. This reminds me that I've accidentally warped my glasses and it makes my eyes look like their different heights so I need to get that fixed ASAP.

Uhmm, I also went to that funeral. It was very catholic and I got blessed by the priest. That was my first funeral, it was really interesting. On my way home I think I got mistaken for a mormon.

I might watch Stargate tonight then tomorrow I'm going skating but I probably won't go if my anxiety doesn't go away. I really want a coffee but I know that's not a good idea. Maybe I'll have decafe.